As hubby and I are gearing up for yet another deployment, I can’t help but to think about all the things to come. There are so many facets to this crazy life, some good and some not so good. (I don’t say bad, because nothing about being married to my best friend is bad. Some parts are just harder than others.) Every time hubby is away I get asked a series of questions about military life, deployment, and everything in between. I have several friends that are also military spouses, and I also know there are millions out there that I will never meet. So it has been on my heart for a while to write something like this.
If you are a military spouse, I hope this speaks to you in some way. If you know one, please share with them.
Dear fellow military wife,
How are you doing? That question seems so simple, but so few people remember to ask. Your husband is gone again, you are left to deal with life at home alone, and most questions asked of you are concerning your husband. “How long is he going to be gone? When does he come home? Are you worried about him? What exactly is he doing?” For most of these questions you don’t even have an answer. I know you feel like most people don’t understand you or your situation, but I do. So I ask again, how are you doing?
I know how it feels to want to say everything is ok when it is not. I know how you want to put on a brave face for your kids, your family, and your friends when you are suffering through the hard moments. I know what it’s like to only feel like half a person for months at a time. I just want you to know that I see you, because I am you.
To the girlfriend who is waiting for the boyfriend she just started dating, whose friends all think she is crazy for waiting for a guy she barely knows, I was you.
To the wife whose husband is getting ready for deployment and who is facing taking care of their home all alone for the first time, I am you.
To the first time mom whose husband is gone and is raising their baby alone, hating that he is missing all of those first moments, one day I will be you.
I do not know you, but I know what you are going through. I know what you are experiencing – all of the fear, anxiety, worry, anticipation, loneliness. I know how you feel, even though most people around you may not. I may not know you, but we share a special bond through being a military wife. You just know another one when you see her, and you just want her to know that she is seen. All of her struggle is your struggle. And all of her joy is your joy.
So I hope you are doing okay. I know some days are harder than others, but it makes the good days all that much better. Whatever it is you are going through, whichever part of military life you are living right now, just know that I am here for you in spirit. Someone is always thinking of you. You are braver than you think (or else you wouldn’t be where you are.) Others may think you are crazy for choosing this life, but we both know you didn’t choose the life, you chose the man. And we both know that the man is worth it.
Others may not understand you, but I do. I see you. I am you. And we are going to be okay.